Sunday, November 29, 2009

Alternate Universe theory

Yes so i read this article on uncyclopedia...

" You know those alternate timelines kids these days are always theorizing about, like what if Germany had won World War 2 or what if Kennedy had shot Lee Harvey Oswald with a sniper rifle?

We're living in one! We're seriously living in one right this fucking minute!!!

Somewhere, in the normal universe, some kid is saying to his best friend "You know what would be crazy, man? What if Tiger Woods became a golfer and Marshall Mathers was a rap star" and then they'd both laugh because they're still sort of high...

Only in a freakshit universe like ours would a black man named Tiger Woods become anything other than a gangster rapper. He wouldn't even have to come up with a clever stage name. His name is something that implies toughness and ferocity. That's enough material for 8 rap albums right there. He'd always wear orange and black and dry hump dancers in every video. If you're born with a name like Tiger Woods or Gorilla Powergroin it would be crazy to become anything besides a popular musician or a porn star.

Now try saying this a few times

"The crowd is dead silent. Mathers switches to his wedge... no... his nine iron. It's going to be a very difficult shot from this lie... and... my goodness! it's in. What a tremendous shot. Marshall Bruce Mathers the Third wins the invitational cup. This man is set to be the PGA's rising star."

It's uncanny how perfectly normal that sounds. You can almost hear the extremely soft and polite applause and smell the highly groomed and treated grass of the fairway. You can almost get a glimpse beyond the veils of causality...

but NO.

You're sitting here in your bizarro universe, illegally downloading "The Real Slim Shady" and "Stan" on Limewire while shoving a bottle of Tiger Woods brand Gatorade into your face."

Haha lol... loved it....

The frightening thing that it actually kinda makes sense....

What if we actually are living in one??

Thoughts anyone?


  1. You're scarying me, I'm telling ya!
    Oh, and, Uncyclopedia? THAT makes sense to you?
    Don't tell me.
    And if there IS an alternate universe, Deeganto Joardar has got to be my son and I'm definitely a man with the same name married to Adrita.

    *realizes she said that loud*

  2. you intrigue me limpidus...
    there, you just went ahead and made a parallel universe of your own....

  3. That's called sense of imagination. Its a general habit of imagining something pictorially and emotionally when you're reading something.

  4. Oh really, so that's what this is??
    I wouldnt know.
    Thank you.

  5. If there was a parallel universe it's obvious that relative to them we're in a parallel universe.
    I think people spend too much time about thinking about alternate universes than thinking about the one that they live in.

  6. And "Juvenile" posts the most irrelevant and unnecessary posts ever.
    The name is so self explanatory.

  7. Someone post about a "perpendicular universe" now.
    Oh and Limewire sucks. Try Bitcomet.

  8. Deeganto, mind your own effing business.

  9. And Sidd, I just said it, no hard feelings, just cut the sarcasm.

  10. I AM minding my own FUCKING business by posting my opinions.

  11. sapna- hahaha!xD okaaaaaay.

    even if there was a parallel universe,i couldn't care less.

  12. i read that our world(Earth) is spherical! how can two spheres be parallel?? :O *thinks with index finger below chin*

  13. Parallel UNIVERSE.
    UNIVERSE # Earth.
    What is wrong with you Mr. Srivatsan?

  14. ok,i was with the original theory!it was stated as multiple worlds!so i typed with worlds in mind!

    Universe should be spherical too,cos it started from a singularity!it cant be of any other shape cos it would affect its expanding nature! so whatever,world or universe is a sphere!:P

  15. and stop using Mr??
    i feel like an old ,bald guy with rimmed specs whenever someone calls me like that!:(